Title: One More Step
Source: Friday Fictioneers sponsored by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple
Word count: 100 words
I step past the tangled tree limbs encroaching on the railroad bridge, stopping at the edge.
“Do you dare step onto the bridge?” the voice asked. “One more step and no one can save you.”
I crossed hundreds, thousands of bridges, in my traveling years. I had never heard this voice.
“One. More. Step.”
I glanced around. I was alone.
Fast-moving water churned thirty feet below, the chill wind tugged my threadbare coat, my pack dug into my shoulders the weight a ton of bricks.
I stood.
Minutes? Hours? A lifetime?
Time to go home. It was one more step.
__________________________________________
Keep on writing.
Jo Hawk The Writer
“home” can be the most difficult place to return to though those voices welcome us. time dictates this return. fiction is an amazing way of processing thought. I like what you did not expressly say but allowed emotions from reading your words to create a scene.
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Home can be a ephemeral destination. Glad you liked the presentation in the story. 😊
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I really liked the mystery of this. The troll on the bridge that was probably the narrator’s own fears
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I like your interpretation, Neil. This one wrote itself, so, the voice is a mystery to me as well. Thanks for reading. 😊
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I thought the protagonist was being spoken to by a troll first reading, having never encountered one before, was unsure to cross.
I’ll get my coat, good stuff!!
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I wouldn’t know what to do if I encountered a troll either. 😉 Glad you liked the story.
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Decisions, decisions… I hope he has something in that bag to appease the voice.
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This may well be a turning point. Thanks for reading and commenting. ❤
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We can hope he finds direction. Thank you for reading and commenting. 😊
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Very interesting story.
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Thanks Sadje. 😊
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Welcome 🙏🏻
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Very intriguing. His tension in the face of this complex decision is palpable.
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Glad that came across. Thank you for reading and commenting. 😊
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I think the walker has crossed many bridges and walked many miles trying to forget something but now knows it’s time to go home. Very engaging story.
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Jilly, I think you might be right about that. Glad you found it encouraging. 😊
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Nicely done. There’s an air of indecisive reflection running right through the piece.
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Thank you for your kind words Sandra. 😊
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Bridges and crossing points make for a reflective mood. Nice one Jo.
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Thank you for your kind words Iain. 😊
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A bridge is a sort of boundary, time to think, reflect and decide.
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Very true. Thanks for commenting.
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One more step, and then what? Excellent.
Click to read my FriFic tale!
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Thank you Keith. So happy you liked it. 😊
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For a moment I wondered what the protagonist’s definition of home was, and what direction exactly was that one more step in: onto the train tracks, or off them and into the water? Either way the dread they felt was well described.
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Kestril, you have captured the very questions I asked when I read through this. The mystery, the dread, the uncertainty, if those came across, then I am happy. Thank you for commenting. 💕
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Along with everyone else, I really enjoyed this decision process… We all reach that certain something that forces us to decide. We can only go so long (mind you some go on forever but we’re not talking about them!)
Well done, Jo.
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Ah, Dale haven’t you heard… if you choose not to decide you still have made a choice? 😉 But, I do know what you mean. I am glad you enjoyed this, and thank you for the kind words. 💕
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True dat!!
😀 ❤
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I love the suspense here.
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Love that Lisa. Thank you.
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Killing himself? Why?
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That is one interpretation. I have enjoyed reading everyone’s impressions on the story. 😊
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An intriguing tale leaving lots of questions. The mystery of the voice and the outcome of taking one more step. But, a decision was made to return home after miles and miles away. I enjoyed your story very much!
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Brenda I am glad you liked the mystery. The next step can be very different depending on the person. Thanks for reading and commenting. ❤
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Dear Jo,
Oh that last line has a sinister edge. Well constructed. Good job.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you Rochelle
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I sort of want to tell him “NOOOOO! Don’t go home!” and I don’t even know why 🙂
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LOL. I love that this piece seems to evoke so many different responses. Glad you liked it. 😊
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Wait. Was that a step across a bridge, or off of one?
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I am not sure. The muse was not specific. 😉
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Because the churning waters deserved a place in the narrative my interpretation of the story leans toward contemplating suicide- and then concluding that maybe going home wasn’t the worst thing that could happen to him any more.. .. I loved reading the comments just about as much as the piece itself…
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So did I Violet. It is amazing to me how many different interpretations can be read into the words. I like your thoughts, there is hope there. Thanks for reading and your insightful comments. 💕💕💕
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I shouted NOOO! That was one step too far, well it depends what you mean by home.
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Home does have different meanings for people. Glad the story pulled you in. 😊
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forrest gump started running for no obvious reason. after covering thousands of miles, he just stopped and decided to go home. if he has reached that point like forrest gump, it must be time. 🙂
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Perhaps he is just like Forest. Thanks for your insightful comment.
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Going home can be so much, it can bring relief, but here it sounds more like defeat… and maybe returning to something that’s changed…
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Yes, going home can be tricky for some. And it is never exactly as we remember. Thanks for commenting. 😊
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I enjoyed this metaphoric POV.
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Thank you Dawn.
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I really like the way you build up the suspense, and the mystery. It works in the moment for the traveller and in the wider sense of life decisions. So well crafted- good writing.
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I am thrilled that you liked this. Thank you for you kind comment. 😊
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Being on the brink of indecision can be an omen. The physical home may not meet current expectations and be disappointing. Th mental home is what matters. Excellent piece.
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Thank you Eugenia. Glad you liked it. 😊
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