Title: The Golden Road to Unlimited Devotion
Source: FLASH FICTION FOR THE PURPOSEFUL PRACTITIONER- 2018 WEEK #41
Word count: 195 words
August MorgueFIle 2018 1415390688o66bl
Calder sprinted through the house, picked up his bag, grabbed his keys and headed for the door. Running late was his normal morning routine. He stepped onto the deck, locked the door and slung his bag over his shoulder before he saw them.
Puzzled, he looked around, searching for clues. They weren’t his, and he didn’t remember them when he came home last night. No, the deck had been empty. He remembered dropping his keys trying to get in and he certainly would have seen them. Why would someone leave a pair of shoes on his deck?
Calder looked around, searching for their owner. At the corner of the house, a green shirt waved from the lilac bush. Intrigued Calder walked over and pulled it loose. The shirt’s back bore a Grateful Dead logo proclaiming “The Golden Road to Unlimited Devotion.”
Footprints in the dirt beneath the bush lead towards the pond. Calder followed and found a pair of jeans in the grass next to the path. A ribbon of gold glistened and glowed across the pond’s surface.
Calder absentmindedly dropped his bag, his keys slipped from his fingers and he waded into the water.
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Keep on writing.
Jo Hawk The Writer
the kind of story i want to shout – yes! more! flow of suspense was riveting.
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I have to go back and read what I wrote. As I was writing I though “meh” Glad you liked it. 😊
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it seemed like a short clip from a movie, yes it was good, especially the gold ribbon
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Cliffhanger – wel not really as we are wading into water with the character – and very good writing
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Thanks for the comment, I was worried the ending was maybe a little off. Glad you liked it.
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Not “off” at all but I am curious
and you did a great job with succinct details because I was grabbing the keys with him – and was really curious what he first saw – so leading to that was really done well – then it was shoes – and then we followed the trail –
And side note – I almost thought he had someone in his house – and liked your ending way better
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And this is getting long – but there is a commercial – think BW3s – and a young guy is in a boring office meeting and he randomly gets up – pushes through a ceiling tile and climbs out and next scene he is walking into the eatery with music and food and football –
Sorta similar here (and sorta not)
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Prior your comments are very much appreciated and very helpful! Thank you.
I haven’t seen that commercial. Now I am curious. I will have to look for it. ❤
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Well I have seen the commercial five times (at least) because it comes on when some of the guys around here have football on – (football = beer and wings I guess)
Oh and last tidbit – your piece also reminds me of the scene in breaking bad – when skylar walks into the pool! A mental break…. have you seen it.
In closing – I am very glad I read your diction tonight – I am in a slower blog mode this month and was just browsing the reader and I actually opened your post (I recognized the blog name form FF) and I said to myself I’ll only read if it is short (my mind has no room for long writing this week – ) and when I saw how short it was – I read- and super glad I did – cos had a bit more fun with comment chatting –
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LOL so now I will be watching football. The things we writers do for our craft!
I am so glad you took a moment to read tonight too. I have learned a lot about how others might view my writing. And it has been a lot of fun. Thanks again, and I look forward to reading your next FF story.
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And please let me (is readers) know if there is a part 2 to this fiction –
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We want to know the rest. Please finish your story. Very interesting!
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LOL so do I. I am glad you liked it. 😊
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