I turned the calendar and realized we are at T minus 10 days and counting. My field-approved holiday procedures joined the smoldering embers of The Great 2020 Dumpster Fire. Any hope of returning to our regularly scheduled holiday programming died a whimpering death next to the Thanksgiving turkey. We nixed singing and dancing our way through crowded shopping malls in favor of scrolling through endless websites. We fear the dreaded Out Of Stock listing. If the perfect gift is still available, we pray for a bona fide Christmas miracle — free shipping and a delivery date guaranteed to arrive in time to slip the package under the tree.
The extended forecast is devoid of snow and promises only cold and cloudy conditions. I have queued the usual Holiday movies. At the rate we are binge-watching them, morning, noon, and night, I expect the re-runs to begin soon. Instead of decorating the entire house for countless holiday parties, we have staged an exquisite Zoom backdrop. We pretested the lighting and camera-tested the family coordinated ugly sweaters to ensure the reds read as true red and not orange or pink.
All that remains is to obsess over whether Santa has started his quarantine protocol and gotten the proper PPE, as we wait to hear if the CDC approves his normal contactless delivery process.
What are your fancy 2020 holiday anxieties?
Keep on writing.
Jo Hawk The Writer