Author: JoHawkTheWriter

Sheer Terror

/ JoHawkTheWriter / 8 Comments
Photo credit: _parrish_ via Visualhunt / CC BY-NC

Photo credit: _parrish_ via Visualhunt / CC BY-NC

Some nights I wake up screaming.

The nightmare has come again to taunt me. Who in the world do I think I am? Declaring myself to be a writer. Declaring that I am going to be a published author. Presuming that I am good. What if I fail? Sheer terror consumes me.

What if I fail?

The thought is inconceivable. I have too much riding on this endeavor. Too many people to prove wrong. Too much to prove to myself. “I can’t fail” whispers the clam and measured voice. There is a plan and I am working the plan. Every day. The story has become a part of every atom within me. I feel anxious if a day passes and I am not able to press fingers to the keyboard to move the story to the page.

The basis of optimism is sheer terror. — Oscar Wilde

Now I am an optimist it seems. There is no way I can fail in my goal. The story is being written. I will revise and edit and rewrite to ensure that it is good. It will be published and I will write another and another.

Last week I only managed to add 2,500 words to my slowly increasing total. It doesn’t feel like nearly enough, but it is more than I had last week. Review the plan. Work the plan.

Keep on writing.

Jo Hawk The Writer

The Way

/ JoHawkTheWriter / 4 Comments
photo by Ales Krivec via Unsplash

photo by Ales Krivec via Unsplash

In the dark, the burden was heavier and filled with fear.
He made his way to the chapel where he got down on his knees.
As the light of dawn streamed in the windows, he knew he had been shown the way.

From Sonya’s 3LineTales at Only100Words. You can find the original prompt here . Thanks Sonya.

Keep on writing.

Jo Hawk The Writer

Riding High

/ JoHawkTheWriter
Photo credit: lars hammar via Visualhunt / CC BY-NC-SA

Photo credit: lars hammar via Visualhunt / CC BY-NC-SA

You know climbing back into the saddle is not always the easiest thing to do. But, at long last I have managed to do just that.

Friday was a stellar day. The payoff for all those days where I felt like I was just grinding it out and not making any progress. Friday I added just over 2,000 words.

In one day, I was able to write more than the combined total for the entire week!

Sadly, life intruded this weekend, so no time logged at the keyboard. The good news is that the story is demanding to be written. I am off to obey.

Keep on writing.

Jo Hawk The Writer

Knocked Out

/ JoHawkTheWriter
Photo credit: melderomero.com via VisualHunt / CC BY-NC-SA

Photo credit: melderomero.com via VisualHunt / CC BY-NC-SA

Getting stuck sucks. Some would say that I have failed in achieving my writing goals.

Here’s the question:

“My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure.” – Abraham Lincoln

The answer: I might be down but I am not out. I won’t be content until I finish what I have set out to do. This is what I have managed:

  • Monday research and a little writing, a whopping total of 200 words.
  • Tuesday more research and few more words. 330 words to be exact.
  • Wednesday got me another 400 words.

Then there was yesterday. A little bit of fact checking and word count of just over 1,100. In the last four days I have added just over 2,000 words to the total. It’s not much. But the story is now demanding that I get fingers on the keyboard.

Keep on writing.

Jo Hawk The Writer

Discouraged

/ JoHawkTheWriter / 2 Comments

Things are not going as planned.

untitled-7Part of the issue might be that I needed to figure out the next progression of the story. That took some time and the solution demanded that I do some additional research. Research is often a rabbit hole that sucks you in and only releases you after hours of trekking through the labyrinth. It is done now and the information that I found fits well in the story.

Then I had a computer Snafu and I lost some words. I do save and back up often, but sometimes these things happen. It wasn’t many words and I was able to go in and recreate what I had written, but it was a little discouraging all the same.

I have also been dealing with a lingering cough. A cough that from time to time insists that one of my lungs can be dislodged from my body. The struggle to prove the cough wrong leaves me lightheaded and weak. Prime condition for getting more words written, wouldn’t you agree?

The result is that I have only added about 3,000 words to my total. That too is discouraging, since I had wanted to finish this by the end of the month. With numbers like that it is easy to feel like a failure.

But failure is not an option, I will get this draft finished.

Today I begin again.

Keep on writing.

Jo Hawk The Writer

In the Proper Manner

/ JoHawkTheWriter / 3 Comments
photo by Annie Spratt via Unsplash

photo by Annie Spratt via Unsplash

A look of horror flashed across Lady Carnarvon’s face as she surveyed the dining room which had been prepared by the newly employed butler and the banqueting manager.

“Luis, you will see that the table is set in the proper manner before our guests arrive and our ancestors begin climbing out of their frames to rectify the situation,” she stated as she recovered her composure and turned to leave the room.

“You would be wise to realize that here at Highclere, we do things exactly as they have been done for the past one hundred years,” Luis whispered to the ashen faced butler before he launched himself at the daunting task of setting the table properly in the little time that remained.

I took a little break to take part in Sonya’s 3LineTales at Only100Words. You can find the original prompt here . Thanks Sonya.

Now it is time to get back to work.

Keep on writing.

Jo Hawk The Writer

In Defense of Procrastination

/ JoHawkTheWriter / 4 Comments
Photo credit: RussellReno via Visualhunt / CC BY-NC

Photo credit: RussellReno via Visualhunt / CC BY-NC

Procrastination is not all bad. Especially when it is done well.

Today nothing I attempted could get me to sit down and write. A problem with how to proceed with the story resulted in a mega case of consternation and I didn’t have the answer. Nothing I had come up with felt authentic to the story.

I could have continued banging my head on the keyboard or wasted time surfing the net during my “writing” time. Instead I embraced my desire to procrastinate. Yep, turn on the music and completely ignore the writing full blown procrastination. I was determined to do anything and everything other than write.

Boy, did I get a lot done!

Every week I have a list of things to accomplish during the week. As of right now, more than half of them have been marked off the list. D-O-N-E, done. I also managed to get a few things done that were not even on the list. How cool is that? I have found that there is nothing like a little indulgence in avoidance to get me moving and shaking. I don’t want to write so I will go clean the kitchen. Darn that’s done, should I go write? No way Jose. How can you write when there is laundry to do? Laundry done, well then let’s go make a tasty desert. You get the picture.

The funny thing was that even as I pointedly avoided my story and the real issue, the little do-gooder in my brain was having none of it. Behind the scenes where I couldn’t see, someone was going over the list of possibilities while I sang to the music and scrubbed dishes.

Suddenly, little miss goody two-shoes slapped me in the face with the solution.

Viva Procrastination! I really do need to read that book someday.

Keep on writing.

Jo Hawk The Writer

Tug of War

/ JoHawkTheWriter
Photo credit: aftab. via VisualHunt / CC BY-NC

Photo credit: aftab. via VisualHunt / CC BY-NC

Friday’s review of the semi-coherent attempt at writing on Thursday reveled that it wasn’t that bad. It also wasn’t that good. After some minor surgery, the nasty bits were cut away and I managed to add about 600 words onto the word count pile.

That progress was hard won however. The section that I was working on involves the antagonist. To be honest, he is a bit of a twit. I had given in to his demands that we needed a scene with him and then he gave me the silent treatment.

Fine. I am more than capable of writing the passage on my own and so I started putting it all down. Let me tell you that got his attention. Of course, I was doing it all wrong, and what ensued was less than pleasant. Some say that I wrote the book on stubborn (oops where did I put that manuscript?), so I dug in my heels and we hashed it out. Can you say excruciating? I needed to get this written and he was not going to stop me. In the end, he actually helped.

Yesterday, it was determined that no matter what, I needed to do something different. A Watson Adventures Scavenger Hunt at the Art Institute was the ticket. It was exactly what I needed, great art, great friends and a little “friendly” competition. Our team, true to form, won. Sweet!

I must be feeling better, because I am getting back in touch with the competitor in me. You know the one? The one that expects that the only place to finish is anything better than second.

Keep on Writing

Jo Hawk The Writer

A Great Disturbance in the Force

/ JoHawkTheWriter / 6 Comments
Photo credit: Frank.Li via Visual hunt / CC BY-NC-SA

Photo credit: Frank.Li via Visual hunt / CC BY-NC-SA

This year is off on an interesting trajectory.

Monday greeted me with a terrible sore throat which I decided to treat aggressively with a tea made of apple cider vinegar and honey followed by lots of fluids. That normally does the trick and by the end of the day my throat felt much better.

Alas, the full onslaught arrived on Tuesday with a full-blown head cold, complete with screaming headache to accompany the nasal congestion and hacking cough. I have been here before and know that the best defense is to retreat to the safety of my bed with a heavy dose of medicine and sleep. The next 48 hours were a blur of Kleenex, cough drops, medication, forcing fluids and blissful sleep.

Yesterday I almost felt human. Sick and tired of being sick and tired, I determined that I was done with this head cold and forced myself to resume what I hoped would resemble my normal schedule. Although a carnage of tissues and the empty shells of cough drop wrappers marked the day’s path, I still somehow managed to eke out 500 words on my novel.

What remains to be seen is if those 500 words are worth the storage space they are occupying. Today’s goal is to carry on and see if I can start to make up the dent that this onslaught has made in my projected word count goal.

Keep on writing.

Jo Hawk The Writer