We look at indecisiveness as a negative attribute. There is unquestionable value in the ability to decide and act. But sometimes being indecisive can have its advantages, especially if it involves multiple sides to a complex issue. Often, we don’t care. We will follow our friends to whichever restaurant or movie the group chooses, knowing the real joy is in the moments spent with our buddies.

Someone once said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”

Being indecisive allows time to gather and digest facts essential to validating or disproving opposing points of view. We open ourselves to information which conflicts with our existing opinions. We examine the merits of both sides of an argument. The pause stops us from blindly following long-held convictions. It means we are self-aware and willing to consider if those doctrines still reflect our inner selves.

Indecisiveness provides an opportunity to analyze what might happen if we opt to answer “yes” instead of our automatic “no.”  We can weigh short-term gains against a future benefit, which may far surpass an easy decision.

It is a valuable exercise to break from daily details and habits to give serious consideration to our assumptions. By questioning beliefs, indulging in contemplation, and trying new things, we find space to grow and find ourselves.

How can your indecisiveness improve your life?

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Keep on writing.

Jo Hawk The Writer

What images does the word discipline conjure in your mind?  

Did you picture arduous work, late nights working for the man, submitting to the daily grind required to reach your goals while eliminating fun from your life? The promise of a guaranteed paycheck, predictability, and security offer the illusion of relative ease. They say success’ biggest enemy is the path of least resistance. The prescription is choosing hard work, nose to the grindstone self-sacrifice, forsaking anything entertaining and easy.

Is it the only way? What if discipline came as naturally as breathing? The key lies in determining your core values. What are your important and non-negotiable principals? Are your ambitions aligned with your beliefs? Who mandated the journey to a wonderful existence must be a struggle? Life is an adventure that we are supposed to enjoy. Reaching a goal is a fleeting moment compared to the time we invest in getting there. Imagine if we enjoyed each step and looked forward to attaining the summit. From that advantage, we could see how far we had come and realized we must traverse the valley before scaling the next mountain.

Will you find enjoyment in your discipline?

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Keep on writing.

Jo Hawk The Writer

I had high expectations for 2020. When you make plans, you expect deviations from the path, setbacks, and unexpected obstacles. But I never dreamed we would encounter the end of the world we once knew. Everything is reminiscent of the Gravitron. You remember the centrifuge style carnival ride that spins, pinning your body against the wall before the floor drops?

With no firm footing, my writing drive evaporated. Winter descended. You know what the professionals suggest when you feel blocked and can’t write? They say you should write anyway. Gee, thanks. I hate this advice. Opening my laptop was the last thing I wanted to do. Another set of experts counsel you to exercise self-care, don’t require too much, rest, and give yourself permission to not write. Facing conflicting schools of thought, what was a writer to do?

Me, myself, and I had a long conversation. We decided to adopt both tactics. We can devise logical justifications, create plausible explanations, and deny an integral part of ourselves. But writers must write, regardless of how we are feeling. The compromise was to reduce my word count goals. Daily writing and editing of my quote posts were nonnegotiable. Anything else was a bonus. I wrote every day. In fits and starts, bursts of note-taking, incoherent drafts, and by digging deep, I discovered the spring where my words live.

Has this year affected your writing?

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Keep on writing.

Jo Hawk The Writer

Impatience is my middle name. I want things finished yesterday. I make goals, devise plans, and get to work, only to feel like I am trudging through a never-ending quagmire. The best advice on goal setting is to dream big, so I set audacious goals and wonder when I don’t achieve them at light speed. I was reminded that progress is relative to the size of the endeavor.

Consider the twin spacecraft Voyager I and II. We launched Voyager 1 September 5, 1977, 16 days after Voyager 2. NASA fired them into space to take advantage of a planetary alignment that happens once every 176 years.  It allowed Voyagers to visit Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune. They designed the spaceships with a five-year lifespan but now, 42 years later, both probes are over 11 billion miles from the sun. Four decades sounds like a long time, but when you realize they are traveling at 38,027 mph, your perspective changes. (*NASA)

Maybe my perception is that I’m not making progress, but every day, each step moves me forward. If the Voyagers had quit after five years, they would have stopped at 11% of their current distance. I have reached nowhere near that percentage of completion, so I will follow my present trajectory and see how far it takes me.

Are you stepping towards your goals?

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Keep on writing.

Jo Hawk The Writer

It happens. Wednesday morning brushing your teeth, you realize you no longer recognize the face reflected in your bathroom mirror. Questions break open floodgates. How did you get here? How is this your life? 2020 has disrupted, upended, and rendered any perception of “normal” as invalid. This often results in a hollow emptiness, a sense of surreal dissociation, and uncertainty about moving forward into the future. Depression threatens to consume whatever remains of a shattered soul. What should we do, and how do we fix this? 

Simple answers don’t exist. One size doesn’t fit everyone. We each possess deep wells of untapped capacity and unlimited creativity to devise brilliant solutions. Today’s challenges require us to reconcile actions with our core beliefs. It requires courage to examine the pile, choosing whether to keep or discard the attached baggage. It is a time-consuming, life-searching process.

The bottom line is managing distractions to clear space for creating meaningful work. Writers, artists, and other creatives walk a tightrope. Their goal is forging a path that allows them to use emotions in their work without becoming overwhelmed and shutting down from the enormous burden. The choices are unclear. Are readers looking for explanations, opinions, or clarity in our real world, or would they rather find an escape for a while?

Does your writing reflect the current events?

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Keep on writing.

Jo Hawk The Writer

Learning can be both an exciting and terrifying experience. There are skills to master, a different lingo to speak, and huge expectations placed on progress. It’s like a kid with a two-wheeler who fears falls, scraped knees, and broken bones. Half the battle with riding a bike is gaining confidence and realizing that forward movement aids your ability to defy gravity.

There are tricks to help you win. The first trick is creating early wins to boost your morale. Setting attainable goals builds a track record of success that encourages the student to attempt tough challenges. Giving yourself training wheels and practicing every day makes you want to get on your bike.

With the uncertainty this year has thrown at us, I determined I would snatch victory from the jaws of complete devastation. Sixty days ago, I traded my mind-numbing matching game app for a language app. Becoming fluent beyond my native tongue has been a lifelong dream. The app expects only ten to fifteen minutes per day. As with anything else, once I start, I often invest double the minimum time. I am close to completing a milestone. Once I reach the goal, I will test myself to determine my fluency. I wonder if my library has any foreign language children’s books.

What tiny steps are you taking today?

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Keep on writing.

Jo Hawk The Writer

I have a vivid memory of an incident in my kindergarten class. It changed my life, and not for the better. It was innocuous, something that happens every day. The teacher asked a question, and the pupils raised their hands, accompanied by enthusiastic cries of “I know,” and “Pick me.” She selected an eager boy who blurted out the wrong answer. The backlash was immediate. The students laughed, they pointed fingers, and someone called him stupid. I will never forget his expression. I almost cried. It mortified our teacher, and she valiantly attempted to correct the misbehavior. The damage was done. He never volunteered to answer another question. Neither did I.

School became a minefield requiring strategic planning to evade embarrassment, shame, and the ridicule of my peers. I was luckier than some. I had taught myself to read before I started kindergarten, and it was a pattern I continued. My game plan was working ahead in each subject area. While my second-grade classmates studied second-grade material, I was devising ways to access third-grade coursework, and master the concepts, alone. Failure was shameful, and I worked to avoid it at all costs, while I attained mastery in private, far from judgmental eyes. The public library had copies of my school’s textbooks, and I used them in my self-imposed summer prep program.

Errors were evil mental monsters, and to survive, I eliminated the possibility of committing a public faux pas. The result was that I fell into a cycle of perceived perfection. Say hello to a boring existence. Spontaneity, fun, shared discovery, and camaraderie were absent from my learning experience.

Circumstances change, nothing stays the same, and valuable lessons arise not only in school but in adult life. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes — they are an integral component of the way we learn. A study found that mistake-friendly classrooms increased student effort. Students learned more and experienced more success. Imagine what would transpire if we created safe environments where mistakes were considered a natural part of growth? What if we fostered compassion, respect, and valued the ability to understand and be understood? That is a world where I want to live.

How do you handle mistakes?

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Keep on writing.

Jo Hawk The Writer

It seems I am always writing. I have written in doctor offices, hospital rooms, coffee shops, during quiet time as babies napped, while standing in countless lines, waiting for a mechanic to fix my car, sitting with the family watching tv, cooking and eating dinner, and while I listen to blaring music. None of those situations impede my ability to concentrate on constructing sentences, forming paragraphs, and searching for unique word combinations. In fact, the more distractions, the more I write. My mind focuses to block the cacophony.

Reading, however, requires solitude and silence, and binge reading is my secret indulgence. Others might consider a spa day as self-care, but there is nothing I enjoy more than the luxury of reading a book from cover to cover. My idea of a glorious Saturday night is curling into my chair with a book. If I have selected wisely, I turn the pages, blissfully unaware of time passing. Time stretches as the pages turn. Thoughts surge, forming deep whirlpools of unconnected facts, and the well of inspiration fills. The only interruption is the sound of my pen scratching notes in the margins. Tired, inspired, I feel my neurons rewire themselves. In the early Sunday morning quietude, with a steaming cup of coffee, I fill my notebook with ideas.

Does reading fill your creativity tank?

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Keep on writing.

Jo Hawk The Writer

I love the visual impact of Covey’s gallon-sized jar demonstration. He first adds large rocks, then layers in pebbles between them, before adding gravel, sand, and filling any remaining space with water. He used the presentation to illustrate the importance of beginning with the biggest and most important pieces. If he filled the container with sand, there wouldn’t be room for the stuff that creates a life meaningful.

I use this principle when I am planning out my weekly and daily agendas. The important jobs, the non-negotiables I need to advance my goals, I schedule first. Often these big rocks may require several days or weeks to complete, but they are my focus. Once I organize my rocks, I insert tinier components from my list. I fill the spaces in between with gravel and smaller items. These are nice to finish, but there is no penalty if they remain undone.

By approaching my organizer in this manner, I ensure I accomplish essential tasks. Should I find myself at an impasse, or with a project finished sooner than expected, I’m not left wondering what do I work on next? Instead, I move to the less significant stones, addressing each one until they are completed. If a critical task requires more time, I bump everything down the line.

How do you schedule your day?

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Keep on writing.

Jo Hawk The Writer

We regret to inform you the escalator to success is out of order, please use the stairs. In case you missed the memo, there is no fast track to your dreams. Becoming an overnight sensation takes years of hard work, practice, and obscurity. Many stumble, succumb to despair and quit.

We live in a world of instant gratification, dopamine-fueled, pleasure-seeking addictions to social media likes, tweets, and notifications. What chance do we have of meeting long-term goals which require not days, but weeks, months, or years to reach? The experts tell us that consistency is the key. Doing daily work leads to incremental improvements. No matter how steep the learning curve, creating habits move you toward your target.

In 1953, Sir Edmund Hillary was the first person to summit Mount Everest. But he didn’t do it alone. Native Nepalese climber, Tenzing Norgay, reached the summit with Hillary. Before attempting Everest, Hillary climbed eleven other peaks over 20,000 feet tall. Everest was not his first mountain. He also needed support from hundreds of people before he ever set foot at base camp. Imagine his struggles, the fortitude, persistence, and his consistent pursuit of his goal. Practice, planning, and patience are the dues we pay for overnight success.

Do you consistently pursue your goals?

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Keep on writing.

Jo Hawk The Writer